Pastoring a Family-Friendly Church
The church faces a myriad of challenges as it seeks to minister to today’s families. Never has the family been more fragmented, pulled a thousand different directions. Generally, the secular media is not family friendly. The values portrayed on television and expressed in popular books and magazines are frequently counter to the family values espoused in the Bible. Modern culture is accepting divorce, relaxed sexual standards, and homosexual behavior, but these destroy healthy family life.
In such a context, how can the church help strengthen families? A family-friendly church has the following characteristics:
It encourages family altar.
Family-friendly churches emphasize family altar — a daily family time for prayer, Bible reading, and worship. They provide practical help and resources to assist families in making this a meaningful and productive activity.
It supports a family night.
At a time when family members struggle with competing schedules and activities that drive them different directions, family-friendly churches often schedule family nights. These are promoted as enjoyable times to communicate, laugh, play, and grow together.
It sponsors family activities.
Family-friendly churches understand the value of being together as families at church, so they plan trans-generational opportunities for worship, service, and learning. They also are convinced that many families in their community would appreciate times of family fun and fellowship. Therefore, they plan and sponsor special events like a film night, barbecues, picnics, outings, and holiday parties designed especially for families.
It encourages and includes single parents.
In a family-friendly church single parents are not second-class citizens. There is a sensitive, but unspoken, awareness of their special needs. The church acknowledges the special challenges that come with Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, and Valentine’s Day. Single parents are fully included in all of the family-life planning.
It provides competent Christian counseling services.
Christian families face incredible parenting challenges. Often they need the help of a skilled person to help them sort through issues and develop strategies as they nurture their children. Their children may need someone to talk to and pray with in order to deal with the problems they are facing. Family-friendly churches will identify capable, biblically guided spiritual professionals to assist their families in crisis.
It maintains a resource library on family issues.
One of the most practical things a church can do is provide a resource library on family issues featuring reputable family-life specialists such as Bill and Nancie Carmichael, Dr. James Dobson, Dr. Richard Dobbins, and Dr. H. Norman Wright. These resources should address a variety of family issues and be available either at an on-site listening or reading center or to check out.
It provides classes in parenting skills.
Family-friendly churches always offer a wide variety of classes designed to help parents improve their parenting skills. Classes that present balanced and biblical understandings of discipline, listening skills, conversation, gift identification and development, conflict resolution, and child development are necessary.
It sponsors support groups for parents.
Family-friendly churches are unwilling to let parents struggle alone. They understand and value the redemptive power of Christian fellowship within the context of small groups. It helps to share your struggles with other Christian parents who understand what you are going through.
It features preaching on family issues.
The pastor of a family-friendly church will include family issues in the preaching schedule. The wise pastor will take advantage of special family days (Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, Children’s Day, Grandparents’ Day, Valentine’s Day) to accent the importance of family from a Christian perspective.
It provides opportunities for ministry.
One of the greatest opportunities for family bonding and spiritual growth is when a family shares in ministry together. It may be as simple as cleaning the church together, folding bulletins, or visiting a nursing home to bring encouragement to an older person. If a family has musical abilities, they might prepare special music for a Sunday evening service.
